I thought I was signing up to help others; I didn’t realize the first client would be me.
Like most aspiring coaches—especially those of us in People & Culture—I assumed formal training would elevate my HR coaching skills and boost my credibility. While I researched accredited programs that checked every “practical” box, I ultimately chose a program that resonated on a deeper level. I had a glimpse into their values and approach to teaching through a workshop with a startup I work with, but what truly drew me in was an undeniable pull toward a greater mission and a remarkable community.
That program I chose was the Upbuild Coaching Training (UCT), and it had a profound impact on me. Its focus on ego awareness resonated with my own quest for deeper self-understanding and growth.
The Upbuild philosophy of coaching focuses on the distinction between the ego (who we think we should be) and the true self (who we actually are deep down). The facilitators reinforce the idea that self-awareness begins with recognizing the ego because only then can we access and act from our authentic selves. The philosophy quickly moved from concept to felt experience. Throughout the six-month training, I rode a rollercoaster of emotions, ranging from disappointment and shame when my ego was challenged to moments of peace and acceptance when my true self would emerge. Ironically, the training ended up coaching me.
The UCT program was more than just a coaching training program—it was an experience that taught me how to be a better human being. I learned how to lean into curiosity by asking powerful questions, how to uncover hidden motivations by understanding the ego’s agenda, and how to truly be of service to others, not to their problems. That mindset reshaped my daily interactions.
In my relationships—even the most difficult ones—my coaching training has helped me become more aware of how I show up for others. Sometimes to serve, sometimes to empathize, and other times to solve. During every encounter, I’m constantly asking myself: What “hat” am I wearing right now? What are they really trying to tell me? How can I keep my ego in check to be of service? One of the greatest insights I’ve gained is my instinct to go into problem-solving mode. When I catch myself, I experiment with a coaching skill instead, such as asking a powerful what or how question. That subtle shift often marks a pivotal moment, steering the conversation in a direction that feels more meaningful and supportive. Staying aware of what I’m listening for during everyday conversations has truly been game-changing for me.
As a result of the training, I also feel more grounded and comfortable being my authentic self. The program inspired me to do some much-needed shadow work, which helped me develop more compassion for my ego and all the experiences that have shaped me. It helped me accept the presence of my ego—sometimes even poke fun at it—while also inspiring me to lean on it less and operate more from my true self.
Even at work, I have noticed a calmer version of myself emerging. Leading up to this training program, I was struggling with performance anxiety and a persistent sense of imposter syndrome. While I have a long way to go before I’m “cured,” I have become less preoccupied with how I’m perceived and more grounded in my intentions and the belief that I am on the right path. (My ego stops in daily to check in, of course, but she and I are still working out our issues—which I may write about in a future post!)
If it weren’t for this journey, my coaching certification might have remained just another credential. What once felt like another box to check now feels like a call to serve and to share this transformative experience with others. I’ve learned firsthand how a single what or how question can flip the switch from stuck to possibility, and I can’t wait to pass that momentum on. I intend to help others lean into curiosity, uncover their own hidden motivations, and step into the truest, most fulfilling version of themselves—just as this process invited me to do. I signed up to learn how to coach; I emerged ready to walk beside anyone ready for their own transformation.
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Upbuild offers a free coach-training webinar for anyone interested in getting a peek behind the curtain.